We should live life like it’s a Uni assignment. That way we would know our time is limited and use every waking minute wisely. We would wake up when the alarm rings for the first time, and prioritize our time with only the important things that need to be done. Not so important acts like watching TV and procrastinating on Facebook would take a back seat. We would also better filter the people we spend our precious time with. How much more effective would our lives be if we treated it like a Uni assignment!
today is Easter Monday (Happy Easter btw) and i had the day off and i just had two of my wisdom teeth taken out last thursday so i didn’t want to do any travelling or usual holiday stuff – so i decided to update my headshot collection. and by accident one of them turned out like it belonged in a TAG HEUER advertisement. so i had to make a ad out of it. i can’t stop laughing every time i look at it. it only took 100,000 shots to get to this one – anyone know the feeling? on a side note – really sick of eating nothing but soup. it’s been 4 days, i really thought 4 days would have been enough for a full recovery. delusional and impatient as usual.
i thought has just come to me… i want to add a new goal for the year – meet a new lifelong friend on my next plane trip. weird as that may seem, it can sometimes be the chance encounter you need to give you a ‘sliding doors’ moment in life. seems like a lifetime ago since i met my first plane friend.
i still remember it like it was yesterday. i was 19 and it was my first overseas trip alone. i had decided to study abroad in Toronto, Canada a place where i had no friends or family. i didn’t even know the elderly couple that had agreed to pick me up from the airport as my dad had by chance met them not long ago at a conference in Hong Kong. so as you would expect, an emotional me starts BALLING my eyes out as soon as my parents are out of sight leading me as a complete mess during take off. a very kind boy who sat beside me provided me with an endless supply of tissue paper and our friendship started from there. flying Southern China (first and last time), we had a one night stay in Taiwan so my new friend and i hired a car that took us around Taipei for the night. We saw the 101 tower and the night markets – we had the best time. And the next day when we landed in Vancouver, he lent me 20 CAD to call the elderly couple whom were picking me up from the AP because i was going to miss the connecting flight. turns out i was on the wrong visa … actually didn’t have a visa at all because the lady at the canadian consulate in sydney gave me false information that led me to be stranded at immigration in vancouver for 3 hours. oh the lessons we learn in life. so painful. so #neverdoingthatagain.
if that friend of mine did not have such a hard name to remember, i would be able to find him on facebook and contact him again. actually i probably have his details written down in my travel diary, because we used diaries to record people’s details in the days before facebook.
Last weekend I visited an aged care facility to see an elderly couple that resided there. I am instantly reminded of my biggest fear – growing old. Maybe that’s why so few people relish the opportunity to visit ‘old peoples homes’.
Although, sometimes it’s important to get these reality checks because you know what? We don’t live forever. We need to embrace life with open arms and really fight for every dream and every second we have on this beautiful earth.
Looking around at the simple decor of the dorm like feel of the room, I noticed the difference in how the generation above us lived. No fancy electronic devices. Just a tv and CD player adorned the corner. Not even a digital radio clock. It doesn’t surprise me that the baby boomers are much better at maintaining longer in depth conversations than our generation full of iPhones and electronic distractions. I see this in my grandparents who just want to have a nice conversation whenever I visit. It makes me wonder what the aged care residences will look like when Generation Y hits retirement. I would love to be the one to pioneer that facility one day. What would you like to see in your retirement home one day?
it’s the night before a shoot and this is how it goes….
write a list. look through emails, texts and FB messages to find out exactly what was asked of me.
fight sister for the shower so i can have clean, fresh smelling hair for first day on set
put on relaxing music
dig through wardrobe, sprawl items on bed, think think think about which options would look best on, discard all stripes and labels
make up. everything in a bag.
suitcase or suit bag? suit bag. harder to carry but less fussing on set.
omg i have to do my nails.
shoes. two pairs. same style but different colours.
oh last thing. a book to read. unfortunately there is ALWAYS down time on set. whether is a light that needs replacing or a camera that malfunctioned. there is always opportunity to stare blankly at a wall.
do you ever get the sense that you might forget how to feel a certain way if you haven’t felt that way in a while?
i thought this way about loneliness. not saying that i’m not grateful to have amazing family and friends around to keep me company, but it’s been a while since i have felt real loneliness. i believe it’s important for an actress to have access to a range of emotions at all times. so today i went on a mission to find loneliness. the first time i ever felt alone was in 10th grade in hospital when i had to spend the night alone in a hospital room with nothing but the TV (which mum wouldn’t allow me to watch anyway) and the silence of the night to keep me company. so where better to find loneliness but in hospital again.
don’t worry, i wasn’t wasting tax payers money for no reason; i had a legit but not life threatening reason to be there. to ensure my mission wasn’t going to be compromised, i told my family i was working and told my friends i was busy. the first hour wasn’t too bad as i was in a new environment and had lots of little things to look at and explore. then the second hour was frightening lonely and my internal racket got very loud. by the third hour i was so delusional i started listening to other peoples conversations and imagining their daily lives to keep myself sane. that’s when i knew i succeeded.
i like being alone to watch others and their mannerisms – one can learn so much about human behaviour that way. i like seeing patients accompanied by family and friends – it means they have someone in their lives that care for them unconditionally. the doctors talk with such calm and collect, and their ability to explain situations is admirable – i wonder how they got trained to do that. and the nurses are so reassuring, they can make something very scary seem nonchalant. hospitals are a very well oiled machine.
i can definitely see myself coming back to lonely bed number 6 in my mind next time i need to feel some solitude. everyone should try some alone time sometime.
so i finally scrummaged a few hours together to create this website. dedicated to my acting life. i am now committed. i suppose i should write something to get started?
it still astounds me that celebrities have such a big influence in modern society such that every word they say is either idolised or repudiated. i boil it down to these people having the powerful ability to allow us to feel something. whether that be a feeling of anger, sadness, jealousy or sometimes empathy, they make us want to either be them or be better than them. i suppose as humans our basic emotional instinct in life is to make someone feel something by way of speech and movement. most actors allow us to experience positive feelings whether their ‘character’ is good or evil because the sheer ability to move an audience emotionally gains much respect. and i like seeing actors use their influence to create good in the world. and when they pass, it’s like a family member died. i mean look at philip seymour hoffman, i don’t think any living above a rock wouldn’t know of his passing. RIP. just a shame, his talent was remarkable.
i suppose such challenges is what attracts me to this industry. i hope one day i will have half the talent PSH possessed. and with it’s power i will build orphanages in china. that will be my positive change in the world. if i get past all the red tape.